We listen but don't believe

Going thru the sermon on the mount, has brought several thoughts to my mind. I guess the main one is how/why we can have "teachings/doctrines of the church" and yet the average person in the pew doesn't live by them or at least doesn't think they are important as in "These are important and I should live by them." When I was a young preacher and maybe even into middle age preaching, I thought that if someone didn't disagree with me then they must agree, because surely if they thought I was wrong they would tell me, not so. Now some did tell me in no uncertain terms where I was making a mistake, but that was only a few. It is really strange when I try and correct something I have taught wrongly and people say, "Oh, I never believed that anyway." So why do people go along with teachings, they don't believe? I have no certain answers, but they may include the following. Most people don't like confrontations, or there is enough that they do like so it over shadows what they don't, or they really don't consider a particular teaching as vital (no matter what the elders/preacher say).
The above choices are only important if the "teachings of the church" are from God, but what if the people in the pew are right and teachings aren't from God? Sometimes the leadership can so get caught up in their own world that they lose touch with their members and the simplicity of the Gospel. Which means the leadership needs to reevaluate their own beliefs. Another answer could be, a belief is from God, but is not important to members, then why? Has the leadership done a poor job of teaching? That is entirely possible.

I think a possible solution is there has to be more discussion among the leadership and the members. Leaders need to know what the members really believe and members need to know why a belief is important.